When jumping from the ice into the water, penguins are able to accelerate from 0 up to 16mph in less than a second. When I jump from ice into water I just get really hard nipples.
“What’s up with this guy?”
“It’s the zoologist in a penguin suit.”
“I know that. Why is he in a penguin suit staring at us?”
“He thinks that if he can blend in and eliminate human interaction, he can observe our behavior without influence.”
“What other behavior is he expecting? We waddle around and eat fish.”
“It’s the ‘Observer-expectancy Effect.’ The researcher’s cognitive bias causes the subjects to subconsciously change their behavior when being observed.”
“You mean like holding in farts when people are around? Because I don’t care. If this dude wants to smell my farts he is welcome to it.”
“Classy.”
