thefrogman.me

Your Froggielarity is 11. Now I know you are probably thinking, “Dammit, that’s really low.” But I assure you…it is not. It’s one louder.

You know what you have to do.

Kill it with fire.

Hey, I’ve got some good news! Your Froggielarity has come up as Lassie. Lassie is a very good score. Lassie is loyal and obedient. You can scratch her tummy and her leg starts uncontrollably kicking. The only downside to having a Froggielarity of Lassie is that on occasion you have to pull this dumbass kid out of a well.

I’ve double checked the results. I’m afraid you have hit the Whammy. I’m terribly sorry.

Your Froggielarity has just finished computing. I’m afraid it is not good news. Your Froggielarity has Restless Leg Syndrome. This has caused it to be unable to sleep soundly at night. Since it is unrested it ranked your tumblr in a very low position. However, there is some good news. There are some things you can do to help your Froggielarity get the rest it needs. The simple solution is to duct tape its legs together at night. If that is unsuccessful there are a few medications that will solve this problem. There are some side effects that you should be aware of. Stomach pain, nausea, sore throat, blindness, excessive ear hair growth, belly button deepening, leaky orifices, double jointed uvula, and in rare cases it may grow up to 9 new nipples, all of which lactate Snapple.

Your Froggielarity is this duck. Be sure to feed it and walk it twice a day.

Survey says!…

Oh dear…your Froggielarity is……. ninja crickets. They are after vengeance for their fallen! Get Mr. Lennon and arm yourselves! Get to da choppa!!!!

Hmm. I’ve never written a poem that wasn’t about ducks. I’ll see what I can do.