(via larryh)
The above picture is the first post that I ever liked on tumblr. I don’t think anyone but me will find hot dog murder so nostalgic. You see, today I liked my 10,000th post. Looking through some of the things I’ve hearted, it seems to average out to 60% porn, 70% cats, and 63% miscellaneous. That sounds about right. I of course am using the Fox News system for calculating percentages.
I look forward to liking another 10,000 posts.
Oh my Jesus. How and where do I do this? This would be better than kisses from God.
I kissed God once. He was alright.
I love you alot. I know that’s not a question and I apologize for this. But I do.
Aww. Well I love you too. I love all my followers in fact. Especially Alan Harris. He and I plan on being the first 2 straight men to marry each other. The anti-gay marriage folks are fine with straight marriage…so we are going to throw them a curve ball. They won’t be expecting two boob lovers to tie the knot. I’m just hoping Alan will wear the dress.
Who framed Jack Bauer on TV’s 24? SCREW RUPERT MURDOCH!
Which time? I’m pretty sure Jack has been framed 8 or 9 times by now. I think his daughter was kidnapped 12 times…once by a puma. He’s bitten off a terrorist’s ear, cut off a guy’s head, and he can travel from one side of LA to the other in about 2 commercial breaks. All reasons why I love 24.
As far as Rupert Murdoch goes…he’ll be dead soon. I’m pretty sure he is in his late hundreds.
Will you follow me?
Sure I will! Who are you?
Help! How do I get people (or any form of living creature) to follow me?
I’ll make you a deal. You write your best pitch of why people should follow you, and I’ll post it on my blog. Whether they follow you is up to them. How does that sound? Also, it helps if you tell me who you are.
I dont get it why a frog?
Because The KoalaMan didn’t seem macho enough. This might clear up the confusion. http://thefrogman.me/post/238294097/frogspring-1st-edition
Do you like coffee?
This is going to shock some of you, but I’ve never had coffee before. ARE YOU SHOCKED?? I used to “do the Dew” back in high school when the first throes of my fatigue were kicking in. To combat the tiredness I would drink maybe 10 Mountain Dews per day. Then that wasn’t enough. So I kicked it up a notch. I discovered this drink called Jolt Cola. I started pounding those, but it was still not enough to negate my sleepiness. And then I did something somewhat stupid. I started taking caffeine pills. They helped for a while, but I remember the day I realized I had taken things too far. It was the morning of my ACTs and I was super tired. I wanted to do well on the test so I took twice as many caffeine pills as I normally would. The whole test I was just dizzy out of my mind and couldn’t concentrate at all. After that day I pretty much swore off caffeine all together. At that point, I hadn’t tried coffee yet…and since I don’t drink caffeine anymore, I haven’t felt the urge to try it since.
What’s the story of your life so far?
I was born in a small pond in the north south section of Missouri. Me and my 200 brothers and sisters were orphaned when a deadly beaver killed our parents. We were tadpoles on our own in a strange pond. I didn’t think we were going to make it until we befriended a large mouth bass named Willy. Willy took us in and showed us the ropes. Where all the best tadpole food was…how to avoid suspicious dangling worms…things like that. Then one day I started to grow appendages and it was time to leave the swamp. Once my feet hit land I had only one goal in mind. I was going to assassinate that beaver that killed my parents. But how? I was just a little frog, no match for a beaver. Thankfully Missouri’s lax gun control policy allowed me to purchase a high powered rifle at Wal-Mart. I was armed and ready to hunt me some beaver, but which one? Beavers tend to look the same. Luckily there is one hazy detail I remembered about this murderous beaver that would help me in my search for revenge. This beaver had six claws on his left hand. I searched the wilderness of Missouri high and low until one day I found this homicidal beaver. I hopped right before him and said, “Hello, my name is The Frogman. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” The beaver then saw me brandish my rifle and with a tear in his eye he begged for his life. My heart then filled with mercy and I realized that my quest for vengeance was not the way. This beaver may have killed my parents, but killing him would make me no better than the evil I sought to extinguish. Unfortunately, I had left the safety off and accidentally shot the beaver in the face. A sort of accidental vengeance. I’m not sure how I feel about the events of that day, but I do know that I am now qualified to be the Vice President.
Well…this doesn’t need a caption at all. My job is done here I guess.
CNN has decided to go in a different direction. Sorry Wolf.
