thefrogman.me

Frogspring 14: Old Blue Eyes

Your favourite thing about being a comedian.

It’s probably a generic answer, but I love making people laugh. It’s like crack to me. It’s mutually beneficial. They get to laugh, and I get to enjoy making them laugh. It’s a weird combo of selfish selflessness.

When and how did you realise you had the comedy “gift”?

It was 8th grade Algebra. The teacher was this man-woman thing called Mrs. Kennedy. Her facial hair and adam’s apple mixed with her boobs and skirt confused us all. Anyway, one day something silly popped into my head and I blurted it out without thinking. To my surprise, the whole class laughed. More importantly, the girl sitting near me laughed. Let’s call her Jamie. I had a crush on Jamie at the time. To this day I don’t think she knows this. As more silly things popped in my head, I kept saying them out loud. And Jamie kept on laughing at them. It was at this time that my 8th grade brain discovered, “Hey, I can make pretty girls laugh! That might come in handy.” At that moment I realized that I wanted to spend my life making people laugh. And I owe it all to Jamie and a giant man-woman algebra teacher.

Favourite thing about the State you live in.

We have the world’s largest croquet wicket.

Can I also be popular in the Bear community?

Well, that depends on which Bear community you seek attention from. If it is the manly hairy man community, then in order to be popular you’d need to have a similar appearance to this…

I bet that guy knows how to fix stuff. He looks handy. I bet he has his own tools and everything. That right there looks like a guy with a nail gun. What was I saying? Oh…if it is the other bear community you wish to be popular in. Then all you need do is cover yourself in honey. Then start running through the forest and they’ll be there, patiently waiting for your dumbass.

Are you on a boat?

I am.

What are you planning on doing to make the 10s decade better than the 00s?

I’m not really sure. I really like cereal. I guess I could eat more cereal. I like pie too. Perhaps I’ll invent some sort of cereal pie.

Favourite film star, male and female.

I had to really think about this one. There are many actors that have been impressing me. Robert Downey Jr. definitely gets some kudos. But the two people that have impressed me on a consistent basis would be…

Hugh Laurie is just awesome. Starting out with his early comedy days in the UK to his role as House, he has always just knocked it out of the park. I would watch this guy read a phone book and enjoy it.

Kristen Bell was in one of my favorite shows of all time. Veronica Mars. She owned that role. She was funny, smart, witty, strong, sexy and a bunch of other adjectives. But she wove all of these elements into one seamless character. Not only that, but she is quite the singer too. (See Reefer Madness) If she can accomplish such an acting feat at such a young age, I am excited to see how she progresses as an actress. That is, if people cast her in roles that actually use her talents. Which is looking kinda unlikely at the moment. Perhaps when she is older.

Favourite film.

If you go by the movie I have seen the most times, it is probably Empire Strikes Back.

But I’m also very fond of Swingers, Pulp Fiction, Die Hard, Star Trek, and Scent of a Woman. As far as comedy goes, Monty Python and the Holy Grail for sure.

Favourite book.

The truth is, I’m not much of a reader. I know it is unforgivable for an intellectual to say such a thing, but it’s not my fault. I’ve always consumed knowledge through audio and real life experience. Learning by doing, if you will. My brain is very skewed in this way. Visual information, even if I concentrate intently, just doesn’t seem to stick in my brain. Reading for long periods of time usually ends up frustrating me. I forget what I just read, I go back and reread it, and then I forget some more and eventually I just throw the book against the wall. When I was in school, I just sat and listened to the lessons and got A’s on all my tests. People were always curious as to how I did this without taking a single note in class. I didn’t really study either. I just listened and things stuck in my brain. I suppose at some point I should do the whole audio book thing. I just haven’t gotten around to it. I make this New Year’s Resolution. I will get Everyone Poops in audio book form.

I would like you to create a picture depicting the world you wished we lived in.

This is honestly one of the worst photoshops I’ve ever done. I wasn’t feeling well and to do it properly would have taken hours. BUT…I think it gets the point across.

Can you write me a poem written by a Jewish duck wishing he could celebrate Christmas?

The poem is written but it needs some polish. Then I have to record the audio version. I shall release it sometime before Christmas.

Dear Frogman! I had a scary dream last night. Any tips on how I can get back to sleep, safe and sound?

Well, whatever you do, don’t look at this picture.

Did you know your eyes are VERY blue? I didn’t.

That is news to me as well!

I wonder what I would look like with blue eyes.

First off, Thanks for the follow frogman!

You’re very welcome. I will follow anyone who asks. To me, that shows an effort to participate, which is what I value most in followers.

Second off, Is that really your cat in the proceed picture? If so, he/she is really cute looking!

You mean, this cat?

Cute? Really? I’m getting more of a “I’ve been plotting your death” vibe. But to each his own. I’m afraid I don’t own any pets. Ever since I killed two goldfish the very same day I bought them, I haven’t been trusted to care for any lifeforms. I’d love to have a kitty though. Maybe one that isn’t quite so…evil. I’d rather have this one.