“So, what are you in for?”
“I stole some grapes.”
“Man, that’s rough. At least your lifespan isn’t 2 weeks long. When I was born, I had to start doing things on my bucket list the same day.”
“What did you do?”
“I tried skydiving, but I didn’t consider the logistics of a flying insect trying to free fall. Anyway, I’m scheduled to go bungee jumping now. Hang in there dude.”
2 years ago
January 18, 2010
(via fuckyeahslightlyamusing)
“Horatio, the King is dead. Everyone is talking. They say the Queen did it.”
“Hmm. I doubt the Queen would get her hands dirty like this.”
“You think she had someone assassinate the King?”
“I do indeed. By the looks of the blood spatter and the point of impact, the killer was extremely tall. Put on some coffee my friend. It looks like it’s going to be… *puts on sunglasses* …a long knight.
2 years ago
January 16, 2010
“I declare that I am now your King. You shall address me as King Fluffy the Magnificent. You shall not look directly upon me. When I come into view, you shall avert your gaze.”
“Yeah, we’re not doing that.”
“But I climbed this ladder, which makes me king!”
“Have you considered how you plan to get down?”
“Oh dear. This is rather high up. Umm…the KING orders you to assist him in his descent!”
“See ya, dude.”
“Guys? Guys come back. Guys?……crap.
Hey I can see my litter box from here.”
2 years ago
January 11, 2010
What are you going to do with my change? You could put it in a jar and save up for a new scratching post. Hah! Like that’ll happen. I know you. You’re just going to spend it all on booze and nip. Crazy good-for-nothing cat.
