*in a high pitched yet gravelly voice*
“Am I too young to be a chain smoker? Probably. But life’s been rough for me. I joined a big wheel gang when I was 2. They got me into all sorts of mischief. We used to sell candy behind the Preschool. The good stuff too…not that fun size crap. I got my first Hello Kitty tattoo around then. Right above my ass crack. But I gave all that up and got myself clean. The mini-thug life was too hard and I couldn’t take the fear of getting pinched by the fuzz. I stopped the heavy candy use, though the butts are harder to kick, ya know? Hey, who wants to live forever?”
