My in depth interview with a Higgs boson particle...
Me:
So what exactly are you?
Higgsy:
I could answer that and sound like I know what I'm talking about, but honestly I have no clue.
Me:
Nobody knew if you really existed. You were like the unicorn of particles. How does it feel to finally be recognized?
Higgsy:
It's kind of annoying. Do you know how they found me? They took a couple of douchebag protons, smashed them together and sent me flying to who knows where. I'll have you know that I was taking a nap. I was having an awesome dream too. An up quark and a down quark were making out. Then I came in dressed as a pizza delivery particle. I'm all like, "Did someone order a large sausage?" Things got steamy and I increased their mass... if you know what I mean. Also... there was this other quark in the corner just watching us. He was pretty strange.
Me:
So you determine the mass of everything in the universe. I don't suppose you could help me drop a few pounds.
Higgsy:
Dude, I am not a weight loss solution. I am a particle that informs all of creation.
Me:
That's a bit pretentious, don't you think?
Higgsy:
Is this some kind of smear job? I was at the big bang. I helped create you and I can uncreate you just as easily.
Me:
You think pretty highly of yourself. You have quite the god complex.
