It’s lonely out there for a simple carbohydrate.
Later that evening…
“Ah thanks Superman. This is a lovely teaspoon. You’re the best.”
“Glad I could help.”
“You know what else I could use? A proper teacup.”
“Your wanting to drink tea is really becoming a pain in my super ass.”
“But I’ve been drinking tea from this ‘World’s Best Giant’ coffee mug I have. It’s just not the same.”
“Well, I suppose I could steal one from Disney Land.”
“Hiya Mac, where can I take ya?”
“Holy shit, you’re a dog.”
“I’ve been called worse. Now give me a destination so I can fire up the meter.”
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with a dog driving me.”
“Look pal, I’ve been driving a cab for 49 dog years. I know what I’m doing.”
“How did you even get a license?”
“You can either ride with me, or Rajeesh over there. He’s hit 7 pedestrians and a horse this year and he got lost in a cul-de-sac once.”
“Do you know where the Science Center is?”
“Buddy, I can smell it from here.”
(sirgoodtoaster / corgiaddict)
If life had spell check.
(orginal image via starcrossed1 / Cake Wrecks: Oh, the Irony)
I am a foot soldier of loneliness.
My only friend is the blaster at my side.
I fight because I’m told to.
I die because I’m brave.
I cry because…
I am forever a clone.
(vikkeh / stormtroopersaresexy)
Her boobs look She looks amazing, but I would’ve shaved the pits.
Imagine me standing next to Colin and Ryan. I, too, belong there.
(fuckyeahwhoseline / fuckyeahcolinmochrie / sarahzny)
“Luke! You must go to the Eggobah system and seek out the great Jedi Master…Yogurt.”
I’m glad we finally got these menaces behind bars.
(fuckyeahdogs / Foxy’s puppies)
The Mombrella
(samuraifrog / dangel799)
The Bowie approves.
We also would have accepted Dr. Potato-Zoid
Taters gonna fhasjkaajhlsfjh.
You go right ahead Mr. Duck. I hated that dog too.
(pie0)
Check out these hooters.
I SAID…we’re out of catnip.