you'll probably never read this because you're tumblr famous etc, but that's okay because I love you.
I LOVE YOU TOO RANDOM STRANGER! I read ALL my messages. I promise! Unfortunately I’m over 1500 at the moment so I have given up on answering every single one. Maybe if I accidentally take meth or something.
To be quite frank, I think your size suits you and I actually find you quite adorable, frogman. :D Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
Thank you very much. And I do appreciate the sentiment, but I have little concern of my beauty. I have diabetes. I am out of breath very easily. I have a hard time getting up from the floor because the weight on my wrists is too much to bear. Due to chronic fatigue my energy levels are already severely compromised. All this added weight exacerbates that. I feel unhealthy. I feel like I am heading towards an early death if I do not make a change.
Gastric bypass is not a fix. It is a tool. I feel it is the right tool for me to regain control of a few of my health issues. It will assist me in reaching my health goals. I went on a diet before. And it worked. But since I was unable to do heavy fitness along with it, the diet by itself was incredibly hard. It required perfection on my part. I could not slip. I could not cheat. Even the slightest faltering would cause me to go backward. 1 year later and 90 pounds lighter my best friend Tru died. My will was at its limits and had become fragile. His death made everything fall apart. I stopped caring about anything and gained all the weight back. All I needed was for it to be a little easier to sustain. Just a little help to keep me on track. It was just an ounce too hard. I feel like bypass surgery is that glue I need to keep from falling apart once again. I don’t desire to be thin. I don’t care what I look like on the other side of this. I want to feel better and live longer.
No offense man, but if a psychiatrist telling you she didn't think you had the willpower to keep the weight off was sufficient to sap your will to even get the surgery... wasn't she kind of proven right immediately?
I can’t get the surgery unless I prove her wrong. I did not lose my willpower. I never wavered in my desire to move forward. But I was depressed because this was another roadblock of many. I was depressed because I wasn’t exactly sure how to show her I had the fortitude to handle the things to come. Before this I ate rather unhealthily and got no exercise. Now I am raising a puppy, eating healthy food, and going for several walks everyday. When Otis is a little older and more independent, I plan to walk back into that office and show her what this lazy basement dweller has accomplished with his lacking willpower.
Whoever told you that an obese family would be suited to a puppy that needs exercise was severely deluded. If your psychiatrist didn't even think you could keep weight off after a gastric band, how the hell can you be suited to an excited puppy the state you're in now?
Well, she isn’t my psychiatrist. She is the one I was sent to for a behavioral evaluation. She did very little evaluating. As for my obese family, I think we have been doing pretty well taking care of our puppy. He has a big yard to run around in, I take him on lots of walks, and I play with him often.
My next door neighbor is much more physically able than myself and my parents. He is gone all the time and leaves his dogs in a small room in the house. Every time I walk by I hear them crying and barking. Otis doesn’t even cry anymore when I put him in his crate for the night. I have other neighbors that just stick their dogs in the backyard and hardly ever give them attention. The dogs stand at the edge of the fence and gaze sadly outside their confinement. I think Otis could do a lot worse than us.
In summary, the psychiatrist was wrong about me and so are you. Whether my ankle hurts, or my back is sore, or I am dead tired, I do whatever is required to make sure Otis is taken care of. Whether he needs attention or exercise or just a belly rub.
I think the great poet laureate Cee Lo Green put it best…
What happened with the surgery you were going to have?
I still fully intend to get gastric bypass surgery. I was a little defeated by a bad experience with the psychiatrist who did my evaluation. Instead of doing a thorough evaluation, she talked to me for 5 minutes and made snap judgments about my willpower and doubted my vigilance to do what is necessary after the surgery. The whole process was making me quite depressed and I was tired of jumping through all the hoops. I decided to step back from it and get a puppy. He is my priority at the moment. Once I feel he has adjusted to life in the frog household, I hope to go back to that psychiatrist for round 2. Hopefully by next year there will be less of me and more of Otis.
I should make it clear. That cop should have been fired. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior from a cop. But I don’t care for people using this as an example to write off all cops. Especially when many of these righteous cop critics probably would have kicked that woman back in the same situation. Hypocrisy was afoot and it was getting on my nerves.
People are saying I am white and privileged. I can’t possibly understand. It also seems to mean I can’t think critically about the situation or have an opinion. It doesn’t seem to matter that I live in a poor, mostly black neighborhood. Or that I went to a predominantly black high school. I can’t possibly have gained any intuitive knowledge of “what it’s like.” Yes, I am white and have the privilege that entails, but that does not mean I am oblivious.
Corruption is everywhere. Pick any profession and you will find it. From doctors to bankers. There are probably corrupt Red Lobster employees shorting your hush puppies for their own delight. But corruption in a seafood restaurant typically has less impact than corruption in a police force. Corrupt cops are a huge problem. And their numbers seem to be growing as of late. They have a lot of power at their disposal and when you add corruption into the mix, terrible things happen. It makes my blood boil when I hear about terrible cops. I was very disappointed in many of the cops involved with the OWS protests. But at the same time, the Albany police took a stand and refused to arrest protesters.
To generalize every single cop so harshly is not the right approach. We want more good cops, but if we treat none of them with respect, what decent person is going to want such a job? My uncle was a homicide detective. He is a good person. He did a horrible job that required him to wade through the lowest depths of society. He saw victims dead and bloodied almost everyday. And he put away a lot of the people responsible for those victims. People who might have killed again if no one was their to intervene. Would we rather have no cops? Leave justice completely up to society? That always works well. I’ll see you at the witch burning at sunrise.
I say speak out against the corruption. Speak as loud as your voice will allow. Demand higher standards for our police force. But don’t lump ALL cops into your shit pile. Make some distinctions. Recognize that among the corruption there are people struggling to make a difference. Just add one word to your statement. Change “I fucking hate cops” to “I fucking hate corrupt cops.”