So a few years ago Newscorp bought this up and coming website called Myspace. They paid 580 million dollars for it. The fat-cats all lol’d at the amazing bargain they had received.
Myspace was an internet juggernaut. No site on the intertubes had ever grown that quickly. It had millions of users in a key demographic. It combined all forms of internet media, making the potential for marketing to this demographic enormous. The fat-cats were pleased.
Then one day a small curly headed boy came along. He had an idea.
The fat-cats laughed at this curly headed boy. For they were old and wise and knew the ways of business. They did not fear his little book of faces.
The curly headed boy’s site launched and people were attracted to it’s clean interface. It was programmed by real life computer nerds instead of the fleet of monkeys Myspace had hired. It worked quickly and efficiently and the people were pleased. Even the people who typed every email, every blog post, every e-correspondence in comic sans, decided that this book of faces was the place to be.
The fat-cats panicked. They fired the monkeys and hired their own nerds to redo the interface. But it was too late. Myspace was a ghost town and all was lost. The fat-cats decided that their only option left was to try and sell Myspace to some schmuck who didn’t know better. They put it on the market for half of what they paid. Potential buyers laughed and laughed.
The fat-cats could not find a schmuck to buy their site. No one was gullible enough to pay their price. They kept slashing the price. Sweetening the pot. They did everything they could to make this purchase as attractive as possible.
No one would buy what they were selling. The fat-cats were out of options. An intern told them that he sold his futon on something called “craigslist” and it worked out okay for him. So the fat-cats told him to make them a listing for their worthless website.
Luckily, the fat-cat owner of a company called Specific Media was perusing craigslist at the time. He was looking for a present for his teenage step-daughter that he didn’t really care for that much. He replied to the ad and offered Newscorp 1/17th the price they had originally paid for it. A slap in the face really. The ultimate insult to a business man. A misdeed so inscrutable that… wait… the fat-cat wishes to respond.
Oh. Umm. Alright then. I guess they felt it was a fair offer. It’s official then. MySpace has been sold for 35 million dollars and all the glitter graphics Specific Media can stand.
You already knew that it was bullshit apparently. Remember the image you made for the post that said this?
"Psst. Hey everybody. I have to talk to you through this picture because I don't want this douche bag to see it in the reblog comments. There is no script that can do this. It is a giant bullshit sscheme to sucker people into following this tool. However, I am curious if he actually sends people something, & I want to properly expose him so I am playing along. Please don't reblog or follow this ass monkey."
I do. & I know you do too, so let's not play dumb.
Tumblr already knows about it and we've discussed it.
Well now this is disappointing. You’ve completely ruined my undercover sting operation. I was really hoping to catch you in the act.
For those of you unaware, the kiing here decided to scam a lot of tumblrers into following him. He photoshopped a fake sidebar with amazing features.
He told people that if they reblogged the post and followed him, he would send them the script in their ask box. But the script was fake and he tricked a lot of people. Not cool.
In an effort to try and expose him, I decided to reblog and follow, leaving that message in image form to warn my followers… hoping he would not see it. Every day I would pester him and ask him about the script. I told him how excited I was to use the script. How I couldn’t wait to see my tumblr rank. I implored him to send it right away as I could not go another second without it. But apparently he caught on to my bullshitting him about his bullshit and we got stuck in some sort of bullshit loop.
I realize he has been exposed and scolded by tumblr, but I still feel like justice has not been served. Devious actions should have consequences. Judge Dredd would not put up with this malarkey. There must be something I can do to get that feeling of closure on this matter. Some creative measure I could take to dole out the justice this cardiac monarch deserves.
why were you in a hospital bed less than a week ago?
why are you getting Gastric byspass surgery?
don't they shrink your stomach to less than 50ML capacity?
And don't most people gain all the weight back because they don't learn healthy lifestyle pattern?
I had an infection in my leg. I had to have some minor surgery and IV antibiotics to kill it.
I have chronic fatigue syndrome which causes me to be very inactive. It is also very difficult to lose weight. I am morbidly obese and have developed diabetes. If I stay this weight I will probably die in the next 10-20 years. Gastric bypass seems to be my best option for curing my diabetic symptoms and avoiding an early death.
About the size of a golf ball.
Most people on fad diets and exercise routines do gain the weight back. Those who commit to a healthy lifestyle tend to keep the weight off. Gastric bypass is a tool to help commit to a healthy lifestyle. Removing the hunger component makes the willpower to stay healthy easier. It is actually one of the most effective long term weight loss solutions. A 16 year study showed that people lost a significant amount of their excess weight and kept it off. I have a little chart in my folder, but I don’t feel like scanning it. It looks like this.
Basically, the majority of patients lose a whole bunch of weight, gain a small amount back, and then keep it off for the rest of their lives.